Victory in the Vale

Kills and Kord

Plus what I think of the other people

by Hio

Kills since the last update:

  • Bunch of invisible burly slave-trading dwarven types with flaming beard spikes. Not a fan of things I can’t see to hit
  • Two giant cross-bow constructs behind a damned door. Those cowards. Or BOWards maybe ha-HA!
  • A non-Brugg ogre in chains
  • Some wights that got totally messed up by Elyas before I had my shot against them
  • Three minotaur statues
  • A silly construct of bronze. What, they couldn’t afford gold? And the construct’s keepers too
  • Merkelmore. I took his hammer, then got V to put the flamey-flames on my Irontooth Axe.

Speaking of V, he’s a pretty good dude. I don’t know why he keeps flirting with me, but at least he keeps things interesting when there isn’t any booze around. I still think he’s a sniveling whiny little biotch, but at least he knows who he is.

Lyssa is the good one. She tells us what’s good because no body else really understands how that all works. I mean, she gets pissed when any of us in the party get into a little tussle or maybe break some teeth…but then she’s totally fine with V zapping us to char. Which it’s cool, we all got our ways of relieving tension…but I still don’t get why Lyssa says V is good but we aren’t.

Nebin is Nebin. I mean, he always seems to be up to some crazy scheming and plans and stuff that isn’t really worth worrying about. But at least he knows how to kickback and relax, unlike Lyssa. Though I think he may be asexual.

Elyas…confuses me. I get that he can go all HULK SMASH when it comes to zombies and skellies, but he totally dissed me when I volunteered to take first watch the other night and he said he didn’t trust me to be the only one awake. WTH dude? He is devoted to that Raven Queen, though. And he is pretty helpful when my vision goes red after a particularly satisfying blow to the face.

Between Elyas and Thrak and Lyssa, I’ve been thinkin’ about the gods a lot. I mean, I thought Bahamut was pretty cool after Thrak KO’d a buncha jackasses in a fight (and seriously, the god’s a dragon — what better to represent me?), but then I found out I wasn’t supposed to kill sleeping people or sleep with prostitutes or kill sleeping prostitutes. Who needs a god that doesn’t let you have fun?

When I was in the service, lots of the guys were followers of Kord. But they were all idiots who just did ale-barrel stands and called each other “bro-ha.” I already had my own family (and apparently a sister I didn’t even know I had!) and I like to actually taste my ale,thankyouverymuch. But Kord I never had a problem with, just those douchemonkeys. Thinking it may be good to head in a direction, now that I’m never allowed to be in the military ever again.

And Kord still lets you bed women.



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